“And take heed, lest you lift your eyes to heaven, and when you see the sun, the moon, and the stars, all the host of heaven, you feel driven to worship them and serve them, which the Lord your God has given to all the peoples under the whole heaven as a heritage.” Deuteronomy 4:19 NKJV
Most of my life, I was angry. Even as a little kid I was stubborn and rebellious. As you probably know, my decisions landed me in federal prison. There, I frequently picked fights and spent a lot of time in solitary confinement. Even after I accepted Jesus into my life, my anger frequently controlled me. This made me feel condemned and “damaged.” It seemed contrary to the biblical promises of joy and peace. What was wrong? How can I fix me?
At the same time, I seemed to be constantly battling some sort of affliction. I could list them, but take my word; it was one thing after another after another. I began to wonder if my attitude problems were facilitating the sicknesses and vice versa.
Then, someone I respected a lot suggested I had a character bent. This was a new concept for me, so I began studying the bible for evidence. In Genesis 6:4-5, it says giants, the mighty men, appeared on earth and something happened to bend men’s hearts toward evil. I asked the Lord for an example of someone with a “heart bent toward evil.” Right away, He gave me “King Saul.”
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